On Smoking

Cigarettes are gross. The smoke sticks to your clothes and hair, and it stinks. They’re expensive. When I started smoking I could get a pack for three dollars, and now they’re five dollars and climbing. I guess they’re not exactly good for a person’s health either. I still can’t help loving them. I love cigarettes. They are a dear, dear friend.

During our research excursion in the library yesterday, I came across a book called “The Encyclopedia of Death,” which I had to thumb through. I found a passage about Freud’s “death instinct” which theorizes that humans have an “unconscious desire to return to the inorganic processes of nature.” Smoking was listed among behaviors that fell into that category. It was also mentioned in the section about indirect suicide.

That’s kind of a dark way to view smoking, but then again who knows what’s lurking about in the unconscious mind. I always figured the appeal of smoking to be a simple one. It keeps me busy, gives me something to do with my hands. The quick hit of nicotine is nice and somewhat relaxing, but the physical action of smoking is what draws me in. I love holding a cigarette in my hand, between my fingers, and gently flicking the back end of the filter with my thumb to knock off the ash. I love the way smoke can look on a bright summer day, almost blue in tint as it floats away and dissipates.

Smoking also gives a false sense of having accomplished something, which is nice. It’s like ten little victories a day. It’s also a great way to break up monotonous tasks, or for self-motivation. For instance, I’m thinking to myself at this very moment, “I know this blog is a little weak, and maybe the topic isn’t the best, but it’s all you can think of and the deadline is approaching. Hammer out a few more sentences, and then you can have the first cigarette of the day.”

Another reason I think I come back to smoking (I’ve quit so many times I’ve lost track) are those terrible “The Truth” commercials, with those sassy kids saying sassy things about big tobacco. I’d heard these ads were paid for by the tobacco companies, but their website (ahem, that’s research) has a section in its FAQ about how some of their funding came out of a settlement, but the whole wording is confusing and I’m pretty sure the whole thing is an elaborate plot. Big tobacco knows a certain percentage of the population will be so turned off by the lameness of this advertising campaign that they’ll smoke purely out of spite. Those bastards have thought of everything.